An Aam Aadmi's learnings

Dear Fellow Aam Admis, I would love to take this opportunity to applaud all of us for having rid of corruption in Delhi. It also gives me immense pleasure that we elected a brilliant set of people who will, in the next 60 days, change Delhi into a New York. Or Las Vegas. Or Paris. We are also extremely fortunate that, we have, after 60 years of independence, elected a set of people who can do no wrong. A set of people who Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King together could not match in righteousness. Even Jesus Christ was a sinner. Not our CM. Gauthama Budha would be a proud man too. He now has a successor. And we have a CM who is the only enlightened soul in the country now, after Gauthama Budha. A long wait it has been indeed. We also need to thank our newly elected bunch of non political aam admis for giving us a new fashion trend for the fall/autumn – a Gandhi topi, scarf and a jhadoo! But then there are a lot of things we can learn from Mr. CM. First things first. Self-righteousness sells in India. Big time. But then, you and I cannot be born self-righteous. For starters, you need to be either in the IRS or you need to be a journalist to be an Aam Aadmi. Then you need to take a 2 year paid leave from your work and go abroad for higher studies. While you come back, you break a three year bond and proceed on non-paid leave. Perfect righteousness. And not pay taxes. Awesome. But these skills aren’t enough to make you or me a CM candidate. And then you master of art of ‘topi pehnane ka’ (loosely translated to English- To fool someone /Con artist ). Do it first to your mentor. Then the followers. Now you have become Mr. Righteousness Personified and fit to become the Aam Aadmi CM. Second: You need to be extremely brilliant in promising everything under the sun to the aam aadmi (read as well to do urban dweller). Starting with Governance. Brilliant governance not seen in the last 60 years, sorry 160 years. Free electricity, free water, committees in every street, establishment of Mohallasabha Secretariat (wow, that’s got a good ring to it),500 new schools, toll free numbers for everything (even if you want to find the nearest loo), and at least 35 more promises. And not to forget, free corruption too. Oh and I forgot Jan Lokpal bill! All this and more as a minority government. This is what we mean when people say ‘ it takes balls of steel to get work like this done’. Period. Three: Specialize in U-turn. Governance (what’s that?). Free Water (Sorry folks, only for those who have a meter). 500 new schools (kisne bola?). Jan Lok pal (“I am the Jan Lok Pal. Who can be better than me?”). So much so that u get into an auto rickshaw in Delhi these days and tell him “Bhai Jaan, seedha jaake yahan se kejriwal le lo” (Courtesy/Twitter). Intuitive chap takes a U turn as requested! “ I will not contest in LS elections” , sorry, party wants me to contest as PM candidate. Awesome. Four: Shield your good friends. He might be the Home Minister of the state. So what? Shield him. With your body and with aam supporters. Use him as a shield against Shinde. Use him as a means to get an escape out as the CM. After all, what wrong did he do? He cleansed some neighborhood of wrong doing. He allowed women to urinate on the roads. He took them to hospitals and gave them checkups. Good work should always be appreciated. Five: Be arrogant. Profess that you are the only one who knows what is right for the country. Profess that we as a nation have made no progress in the last 60 years. And then tell the idiotic aam aadmi that you will change India in 6 months. Six: Art of fooling a nation. Our CM has proved that it is absolutely easy to fool a whole bunch of people across country. It’s so easy that the khaas aam admi gets fooled by anything that is anti-establishment. Use it and try becoming the PM too. I have happily been fooled. I hope you have been too. If you still haven’t realized it, God save you and me. Rajiv Narayan